constancedh

God, I sounded like such a ditz in that post below. XD

Yeah, seriously though, people. DH rocked. I'm so going to re-read that a MILLION times.

BTW - Ture Masing, a person who commented below, I've no idea how you got here, but seriously. I said I'd have an issue with whoever dissed B7. I won't read your comments in future, so you might as well not post. (Good job being anonymous too, really, shows how brave you are, not implicating yourself)

DEATHLY HALLOWS IS OUT.

OH. MY. GOD.

Oh. My. God.

I just cried SO HARD. OH MY GOD THAT WAS THE MUST UTTERLY, INEXPRESSABLY AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECE I HAVE EVER READ. THE WONDERMENT OF READING THAT, OF READING ABOUT THEM IN HIDING, OF READING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.... IT'S JUST.... WORDS FAIL ME. THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER OR WILL EVER READ. Don't any of you DARE diss it, I swear....

The middle was just amazing. The way she wrote it, I just never want to read anything ever again.

*spoilers*
i KNEW he loved lily, i KNEW it. dumbledore planned his death, and he trusted snape because of how he loved lily! i cried so hard at the end when harry ''died''..... I was literally sobbing. The entire book was so sad, but the middle was amazing. The despair they felt, and then how ron left, and how hermione was crying.... I just.... words can't even describe how much I loved it. If you have qualms with the book, don't say them in front of me. I don't mean to be rude, or anything, but I'll have an issue with you.

THE SCENE WHERE HARRY DISSED REMUS WAS OMGOMGOMG. i felt so bad for him! and how tonks had a little teeny baby, and then they DIED!!!! OMG i cried. And fred!  *cries all over again*

JK rowling is officially and forever more the most brilliant storyteller alive, and I am SO glad I grew up with such a masterpiece. Deathly Hallows will forever be regarded as literary masterpiece.

(And for the record, i SO knew that the tiara thing was a horcrux)

OMG DUMBLEDORE!!!!! I absolutely LOVE how she made it so bloody intertwined, and how she made dumbledore less-than-perfect. I choked when I read that caption on the picture ''dumbledore and his friend grindlewald''. OH MY GOD. and the gregorovitch sounded SO FAMILIAR, cuz i had just reread gof, and it mentions him, and I was like OMG how did i not remember!!!

The wedding was AWESOME, and it was so ominous how kingsley's patronus was like "the ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming." and then the whole magic is might thing, and the Blood Status, and the DETENTION TORTURES!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!

Just so you guys know, I'm going to be ranting about this for a very, very long time. brace yourselves, and rant back.)
ranting about this for a very, very long time. brace yourselves, and rant back.)

An Email To Pammyfish.

I had to get it off my chest. and since it's an email it's not very grammatical.





i hate my life right about now. i have at least 2 practices a day, sometimes three. i run 6 miles for warm up, and then do other general torture. i spend all my waking hours thinking about you guys, and then my lovely father says that i can only come to america for 7 BLOODY DAYS. you know what? that's just not even fair. i really really hate him right now. my dad's forceful. he used to smoke 3-4 packs a day. and then he just... stopped. In one day. I'M NOT BLOODY LIKE THAT. you can't just take me away from the country i lived in for 10 years, my school, my friends, my stuff, my shops and expect me to act blase about it. with an accent on the e. You know what, i'm just NOT LIKE THAT. i don't GIVE A DAMN if you think i'm just a 9th grader (shpfff, "just"), and people think our relationships aren't serious, but they ARE and we're BEST FRIENDS, and you can't just take that away from me.

dont cry, dory, don't cry.

i'll wait to go to bed and cry. what's sad is that i can't sleep at night without the teddy bear heather gave me for valentines day. like, literally, i can't fall asleep.

i HATE IT HERE. sure, it's fun and everything, but my dad is a fanatic about bosnian patriotism. i can't tell him i don't wanna spend my ENTIRE SUMMER AND LIFE AND EVERYTHING here, becaus he'll get hurt, so i just have to suck it up, and i hate the school i went to, and i hate the kids, and i hate EVERYTHING.

this is a really long, boring rant email, and i'm sorry. you don't have to reply if you don't want to. .... i just had to get that off my chest.

*hugs*

everybody i know is like "oh, you'll get over it, they're just childhood friends" but thats a bloody load of shit. excuse me. seriously? just because old people don't value friendship doesn't mean i don't. you know how weirdly fanatical i am about staying close to people. my mom still hangs out with her friend from ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, and she's like, ancient. (in a young kind of way).

just to let you know, i will be loyal to you and the gang however long you stay loyal to me. i'm like dumbledore. I will never truly leave Hogwarts [Holton] until none there are loyal to me. XD





PS - The Only One He Ever Feared, chapter 36 of OOTP (what's sad is that i know that by heart) is totally the best chapter ever. i LOVE THAT CHAPTER NAME. and the chapter art.

I LOVE SCOUT AND ATTICUS FINCH. They are my lovers.

That said, I'm depressed. And I'm 13. And I shouldn't be depressed about what I'm depressed about. But I'm a damn weirdo (hee hee! I said damn!), so whatever.

This place is so.... unperspective. unvisionary. uncool. unscholarly. un.... cool. in general. Guys like girls because of looks. Guys do one thing with girls. I'm not saying it. Let your imaginations roam freely. People hate school. People hate reading. People hate writing. People hate getting educated. Then people wonder why they are so stupid and can't get a job. Then people blame it on the government. Then the infrastructure goes... well, "fricked" to put what eddie izzard says politely. Catch my drift? I hate it. I'm totally romantic, so obviously in my future I envision some weirdo, nerdy guy who has my weird american standards, and is nice, and does not like me because of TheOneThing syndrome which I mentioned previously. But no guys fit my criteria.

And so I'm depressed. And I'm 13. And I shouldn't be depressed about what I'm depressed about. But I'm a damn weirdo (hee hee! I said damn!), so whatever.


Also, I'm depressed because my stupid american friends are gonna go and forget me now. They already have, really. I know it's only a matter of time until we send each other less and less emails, and then one day they'll be like "oh, wait, who are you again? why are you on our mailing list?" and they'll take me off and have mailing lists without me. Which they might be doing already. I have a whole shining picture of all of them in my head, like a bizarre village of imaginary friends. I keep telling myself just to wait, things will get sorted out, but they never do. I feel like I'm friends with an image of them, a memory. I talk to them in my head, I live through everything pretending they're next to me. And I feel like if I see them again, things will be so different, that we won't even be friends. This whole year I haven't let myself make any new friends so I wouldn't forget about them, and now it's just.... going away. Give it two years and they won't even remember my name.

I need therapy

I <3 SCOUT.
Scout makes me happy when I am sad.
Scout makes the sky blue.
.

8 facts about the girl named Dory.

1. I've only been to two concerts, and both of them were Symphony orchestras.
2. I lived in 4 countries by the time I was four years old.
3. When I was in second grade a truck crashed into our car in an intersection. I wasn't wearing my  seatbelt. I crashed forward and impaled my knee several inches into a huge piece of metal sticking out of the totaled car. I have a lovely scar to prove it.
4. I've written four novels and am writing a screenplay.
5. I'm trilingual.
6. I know more about Harry Potter than American history. Hell, I know more about Harry Potter than most things.
7. I hate running (track and field). I despise it. I wish I could never ever ever run again. But I play tennis (which I love to death), so I need it for conditioning. And my coach is so nice I feel bad if I skip practice.
8. I'm hard to get along with, and I can go from self-loathing to egomania in the space of about 2 minutes.

post yours on your own lj.

That Blissful Summer

They were the best of times,
They were the worst of times.
The beginning of the end
Of all of our joint adventures.

It was bittersweet, really.
You see, we knew it was ending.
But maybe that made it sweeter.
For every moment was spent together,
Every moment was savored as it should be.

They were the best of times,
They were the worst of times.
They were times of protracted farewells
And "one last goodbye" hugs.

What could be better
Than that time on the sand?
Where all of us forgot,
For one sweet day
That we were coming undone.

They were the best of times,
They were the worst of times.
They were times of watching movies
Four times in theaters, just for the fun of it.

They were the best of times.

They were the worst of times.

Not such a funny post this time. It's sad, really, how screwed up my family is. You can use us as inspiration for a soap opera.  Why all the drama? Who knows.

Haris has been fighting with my parents for a while now, but yesterday topped it. He broke up with Lejla and in the middle of the night he just took all his stuff and bought a one way ticket to america and left. At least he woke me up to say goodbye.

Mom was crying most of the day today. I wasn't. Maybe it's just my weird happy-go-lucky personality, but I still like to think it'll all work out. It will, won't it?

Welcome to Larkhill Detention Center!

Enjoy free medical innoculations provided by Viadoxic Drugs! Sign up now and get your own private cell! In fact, sign up right this minute at 1-800-7-SUTLER and choose your own burial pit and Special Edition Flavored Lime Powder (TM)! And for an extra fee of just $2.99 you can choose the color and design of your very own  interrogation clothes, previously only in "orange paper dress"! We've spared no expense!


We regret that all applicants sign up of their own will, therefore we do not hold liability charges if they suddenly "die",

I have no idea what that subject means, actually. it just seemed like an interesting improv. quote.

I'm obsessing again. seeing as i have ocd this is hardly colossal news, but still. i'm obsessing about cleolinda jones. about her lj to be exact. it's very confusing. i never keep up with it, looking in only once a week, if that. and i don't get it. it's her lj, yes, where she talks about herself. and apparently, suddenly she's writing a children's book. and i feel really behind. and i don't know what's going on in the US because she keeps mentioning all these bizarre references to new movies that are coming out, and it's so weird for me not to know them, since i used to live in the thick of things.  like, the golden compass a movie? potc3 trailer? blu ray (dude, wtf)? TO REPLACE DVD/HD DVD???? i don't know. it's just very strange and new to me suddenly to be all out-of-the-know about these things. i need to watch european cnn more often. and go on msn news.

we all did a mini IQ test in school today. i think i did pretty well. it was 50 questions, each containing five pictures and we had to chose which one was the odd one out. i'm usually very good at this kind of thing, so i think i did it OMG THE BEST IN THE CLASS moderately ok (in a very modest kind of way. ). but i couldn't resist writing at the bottom of the test that i'd taken one before. i really don't like to brag, yet i really really do sometimes. so i will now NOT post my actual IQ, just so i don't start obsessing about that too. (ps, it was a real, paid for IQ test given to me over two and a half hours by some specialist lady, not one of those free online ones)

a new mugglecast episode came out. it's so indescribably cool how much i love them. and it was an all voice-mail show. i haven't finished it yet (15 minutes left!!!) so i don't know if my voice-mail comment made it. i hope it did! it was a trust snape theory, since i think he's good. don't ask me why, but i'm so absolutely convinced that he's good that nothing will dissuade me. unless he actually turns out to be bad. which might just do it. maybe. hey look, i caught some sarcasm in a bucket!

which brings us to harry potter. i haven't read hbp in a while, so i'ma go read that now. i think i haven't re-read it in about 4 months, which must be some kind of record. then again, i' ve been rereading 12 and  3, so i have an excuse. anybody have deathly hallows theories to discuss? i'm all for it. i loooove hp discussion.

and finally, as a finisher, i'd like to finish with last night's dream. so. it's kind of morbid. and i'm kind of paranoid and religiously superstitious about things like this. so, this dream is officially off the record. not my fault i dreamed it. IT TOTALLY DIDN'T HAPPEN, OK??
so. my mom and i (i have no idea where the rest of my family was) were in our house in *country where i live* in *city where i live* and we were..... i dunno, i think we were eating dinner. so suddenly my uncle and grandfather run up to our back door (even though they don't live remotely near us) and were like "quick! we need to run away! the macedonians are coming to steal our land!". so we ran. awaaay. there were tons of us, all the people who lived in the area. we were running towards this river. it was the river of the "dead" and when we jumped in it, we were all suddenly tadpole-like spirits, flowing downstream. my grandfather and uncle seemed to have done this before, so they led us to our "exit" and we jumped out like fish and flobbered on the riverbank for some time until we got a grip on ourselves. random scene change into the future. we were in this giant empty building. well, it wasn't exactly empty, but it was just an office building, but it was deserted and the floor was wet for some reason. in the middle was a huge stairway, and there was this absolutely terrifying sense of wrongness. so my mom and i were climbing the stairway, trying not to be seen because that would be fatal. there was something or somebody dangerous here. once there was this scary business lady passing the stairs, and i could swear she had seen us, but apparently she hadn't. we were getting to the top when something weird happened (descriptive, huh?) and i can't remember what and then i woke up. it was a creeeepy dream.

well then
ciao

only dory
my life
my card
american express
*curly signature writing* dorothy

well then. the second post.

i've been trying to write this for ages, but i keep procrastinating. a very prominent gene in my family, it seems. i keep sitting down to write anais, for instance, and just stand back up again. i can't sit down and do anything for more than 10 minutes before going off to read. heather sent me a huge package of books and chocolate, and i'm trying to get through it all. i just finished sabriel, by garth nix, and i'm completely amazed. it took a while to read, because i kept being interrupted, but i managed to ignore everybody last night and finish. i can't say i'm not surprised by the ending... it was kind of sudden, but i'm starting lirael now. it's not about sabriel though. it's one of those trilogies where every book has it's own character. i don't like that approach much, but what can i do?

our stuff has finally arrived. it's such a relief to walk around the new house and see our old stuff in it. such a relief to fall asleep in my old bed with my old sheets. simple pleasures, but really, the most important ones. we haven't been able to open the 30 boxes of books yet, though, because the shelves aren't finished yet, and i don't know what we'll do with them if we open them  - leave them on the floor in piles? so, the books still wait. i have secretly opened about two boxes, but nothing else.

tennis is going fine. i really really despise conditioning practice. tennis is interesting, you have to think about what you're doing, think about the movements, but running is just... boring. you just go around in circles for long periods of time with nothing to do but contemplate the pain in your legs and how bored you are. plus, some psychopath started randomly running with me last time and then he asked for my number and to go and watch a movie together. yeah, not happening. my paranoia is too great.

on the other hand, maeve's parents are making her go to boarding school in the mountains in north carolina for a year, and then when she comes back she wont be allowed to H anymore. all because of her anger problemos.... you know, the ones she doesn't have.  it's so annoying. i can't believe they're doing that, they're gonna traumatize her for life. and plus we're not allowed to send her letters or email. shpfffff. as if they're gonna stop me.

eugenie is leaving. she's moving to somewhere in asia. she's really a traveller. lived in siberia, africa, bosnia,.... all over the place. she gave us all her email and a little souvenir from her wedding. these sugar candy things in a lace baggy with a pearl in it. i didn't even know she was leaving - how sad is that? i was so bland, i didn't even hug her.

well. i'll update more when i remember what else i was going to say. as of now, i'm too lazy to think.

well, here goes. the first lj entry. i really have no idea what to write. so, i'll go on about my life like everybody knows who i am and what i'm up to. hopefully the smarter among you should make something from the ramblings. life is good (and i refuse to use caps at all costs). tennis is fun. conditioning=not so much. anais my book is going so-so. i'm completely braindead as to how i should go about writing it. i mean, i have the whole thing planned, but nothing is working out. or maybe i'm just too lazy. i mean, it sounds so great in my head and then when i take out my fab yellow notebook to actually do the writing, nothing works out. its like somebody telling you to write an essay on some hideous law topic you dont understand. its just so boring. i'm sure somebody on this planet would like to read it, but i sure don't feel like doing the work. i need to get a backbone and start doing some real work. is february 24 too late to make a new years resolution? anais finished by this year. 30 minutes of writing a day, no getting out of it. shpffff. like that will work.

meanwhile, our house remains empty, a void. our things were supposed to come in january and they're not here yet. but now the moving people have said monday. please! please! i can't sleep on a sleeping bag on the floor anymore! or listen to the same music on my ipod! hey, at least we have a kitchen that works. i dont know what i'd do if i had to eat out every day. starve, probably. that's how much i hate fast food.